You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
