So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
