Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
is it fun? or sober?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
