Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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