My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
