If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Alive.
So much puke
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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