gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
