I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
