You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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