i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
