i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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