i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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