yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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