Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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