I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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