my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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