It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize