I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
