If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..