I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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