you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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