So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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