She said her name was "party"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
