I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
