Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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