I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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