let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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