Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
