you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
