Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
