Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
