I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
