ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
