It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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