A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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