How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
