i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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