i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
