yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
