He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize