I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
