we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
