What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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