I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
