Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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