I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize