This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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