I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize