Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
