Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
