dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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