i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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