He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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