I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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