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• (256): View more from Alabama

  So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  that was the beginning of the end.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  you win again, gameday.

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• (818): View more from California

  you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (830): View more from Texas

  A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised

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• (206): View more from Washington

  My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts

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