Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Food network will be on but we won't be watching

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  O by "watching" I mean "background noise"

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  (248): Food network will be on but we won't be watching (1-248): O by "watching" I mean "background noise" http://tfl.nu/n3tt
  Replies (2) Good night (1123) Bad night (481)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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  (541): I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that. http://tfl.nu/itf1
  Replies (29) Good night (2446) Bad night (618)
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  (818): View more from California

  So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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  (818): So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice http://tfl.nu/dh5p
  Replies (94) Good night (9089) Bad night (905)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.

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  (606): Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes. http://tfl.nu/z8mg
  Replies (23) Good night (3662) Bad night (2115)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I miss vodka workout Fridays

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  (786): I miss vodka workout Fridays http://tfl.nu/gp5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2903) Bad night (990)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.

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  (864): The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up. http://tfl.nu/edto
  Replies (6) Good night (2375) Bad night (1131)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship

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  (713): Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship http://tfl.nu/tzas
  Replies (14) Good night (2551) Bad night (1098)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.

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  (778): She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever. http://tfl.nu/jz26
  Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (951)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom

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  (301): Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom http://tfl.nu/wuli
  Replies (11) Good night (2518) Bad night (609)
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  (707): View more from California

  Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.

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  (707): Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend. http://tfl.nu/wf6o
  Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (375)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me

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  (920): I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me http://tfl.nu/4kao
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.

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  (860): Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building. http://tfl.nu/u27k
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees

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  (702): God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees http://tfl.nu/4nsz
  Replies (3) Good night (343) Bad night (570)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love

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  (438): the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love http://tfl.nu/1vr2
  Replies (0) Good night (778) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that

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  (908): it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that http://tfl.nu/wsh1
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (214)

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