Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?

Fav 69 4168 1606
share tweet
(310): View more from California

Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."

Fav 6 3791 1174
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

Fav 51 1805 3878
share tweet
(316): View more from Kansas

she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

Fav 41 3998 1855
share tweet
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(585): View more from New York

Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history

Fav 17 4522 967
share tweet
(251): View more from Alabama

you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account

Fav 20 5749 1584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night

Fav 29 4255 1621
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice

Fav 1 891 459
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.

Fav 2 618 420
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT