Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?