stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
