Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
