To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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