What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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