do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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